Happy Wednesday beautiful friends!

I am really loving our Exploring Beauty series. I hope you are as well!

I love all the perspectives we are collecting and today we have thoughts shared from a fellow blogger and all around LOVELY individual Erika from the blog Operationalize Beauty. As I read her words, I was so moved and found myself nodding my head to so many things. I think you will find yourself doing the same thing. So read on ♥

Operationalize Beauty

I am a thirty-something mother of two living in St Louis Missouri. I have two beautiful girls, and one supportive husband. My site was inspired by two things: the word operationalize (which basically means to define something that is hard to define by describing its characteristics), and a conversation about the character Topanga from Boy Meets World (and now, Girl Meets World). Growing up, I remember thinking she was the most beautiful girl on TV. But it wasn’t just her perfect skin and princess hair. It was her spirit- her complete lack of cares given about anyone’s negative perception of her. She was passionate and free and alive. I remember wishing I could be that bold. That confident. That beautiful. Now I run a blog dedicated to exploring what makes a person beautiful, and talking about those truly gorgeous women we meet every day.

I have worked with kids for close to a decade. I have worked with them in classrooms, on playgrounds, and at a crisis nursery (yes, it was as heart-breaking as it sounds). One thing that always bothered me was when a kiddo would come up to me complaining about some terrible thing another kid called him– “Mrs. Blair!! So-and-so said I was bad at baseball!” (I know, terrible, right?)

I knew the kid expected me to say, “Oh, honey! You’re great at baseball! Don’t listen to that mean old so-and-so!”

Or, the kid wanted me to march right over to that pesky so-and-so and tell him (or her) that saying such things was “bad” and he (or she) should apologize right this minute. (Don’t get me started on forced apologies).

But I got tired of these responses. I thought they were empty. And ultimately, they just reinforced the idea that so-and-so has the power to define who you are and how you should feel at any given moment.

So, I started asking, “Well, are you bad at baseball?”

“NO!!” the shocked child would say.

I would act relieved and encourage the kid to think how they would feel if so-and-so had called him a feather, or a shoe, or some other thing that he so obviously was not. He would think so-and-so was crazy, right? Maybe even delusional. He would probably not mind because so-and-so obviously had no idea what he (or she) was talking about. Sometimes it seemed to work. Other times, the kid just kind of wandered away in a stupor.

I realized that the greater our idea of our SELF is, the less the words of mean old so-and-so impacts us. And I got to thinking about labels, and how interesting it is that we will readily accept the “positive” labels others put on us (like smart, funny, or beautiful), but feel so affronted when we hear “negative” labels put on us (like stupid, fat, or bad at baseball). When we accept the positive labels, we are putting our trust into an other and allowing them to define who we are. The danger here is that their labels might change. And if we believe them when they call us beautiful, we just might believe them when they call us stupid. And that is not ok.

My goal is to encourage a dialogue whereby women and girls think about what being beautiful really means. To go beyond the “beauty is on the inside” and actually name what it is we find beautiful. Let’s talk a little more about the truly beautiful people we are surrounded with every day, and a little less about Kim Kardashian’s booty.

Let’s talk about Daniela, a little girl who bakes beautiful birthday cakes for children battling chronic illness, all while fighting her own health battle. She thinks beauty is how nice you are.

Let’s talk about Heather Risinger, a mother of four who recently embarked on a journey to get healthy. Once upon a time her toddler son took off running down the street and she couldn’t catch him. The thought that her son could be hurt because she physically couldn’t get to him was just not ok. So, she got to work. She made her health a priority. And it isn’t just her body that has changed, her whole outlook has shifted. “I just started being more up for doing everything we like to do. Like going to the beach, Disney, whatever. It doesn’t feel like such a schlep everywhere. I’m boosted with energy. The nutrition is amazing.” She feels most beautiful when she sees that light in her children’s eyes. As she put it, “I can always tell if the kids are happy by the reflection in their eyes. If they are happy, I feel beautiful.”

Let’s talk about Amanda, who works to stop human trafficking in St Louis. To her, beauty is in how you treat people.

Every day I am inspired by the beautiful women around me, and talking about the amazing things that they do has helped me focus a bit more on becoming truly beautiful myself. So let’s talk about what we find beautiful. Let’s ask ourselves and the people around us what they find beautiful. If we can see truly beautiful traits in other women, maybe we can recognize them in ourselves, too. And then maybe, just maybe, the mean old so-and-sos of the world won’t be so powerful after all. And that will be beautiful.

What do you find beautiful? Let’s talk about it:

http://operationalizebeauty.com/

https://www.facebook.com/OperationalizeBeauty/?ref=aymt_homepage_panel

https://twitter.com/OpBeaut

https://www.instagram.com/operationalizebeauty/

♥Erika

Wow! Weren’t Erika’s words amazing! I hope you were as moved by this as I was! ALL THE FEELS! That part- when my children are happy, I feel beautiful? Um YES! Did you read my mind? I had never been able to verbalize that feeling and there it is. I feel joy, a more lasting and deep version of happiness, and beautiful. Like- “you got this mama”. Of course, when they are throwing a tantrum I probably look like I feel- a troll. Ha! But I digress.

We would love to know your thoughts on this and keep this important conversation going. We have big hopes that as we all connect with and share all the many different aspects of what makes beauty….beautiful, we can help individuals feel supported and accepted. So let’s keep in going!

XOXO~ M&D